Reasons to attend a Grief Support Group
By Jo Winkowitsch, Milford, Iowa
I have been thinking about why a person might want to attend a grief support group. It has been many years since I was catapulted into grief by my daughter’s death. Since then I have been trained in grief by my own losses and through education. I have been drawn into being part of the grief support community to help provide a safe place for people to be educated and supported as they processed their own pain and grief. GriefShare was born out of desire to help people find their way in their grief. For those who need the help, Griefshare is a wonderful resource.
Here are some reasons for a person to consider attending a grief support group:
1. You feel alone or disorientated and can’t seem to find your way. As your relationship with the deceased was unique, so is your grief journey. At a support group you will learn you are not alone on your grief journey, and will find hope that you can find ways to cope and adjust as you share your journey with those who understand. Grief reminds us of how fragile life is, and at a grief support group everyone knows how difficult it is to deal with the losses.
2. You find yourself wondering if you will “get over it” as you think about your grief and loss. As you share and process your grief you will come to understand that grief is a lifelong process when you lose someone to death. You will come to see that you must find your own way of grief, and that you must be patient with yourself as you go. While the agonizing pain of loss diminishes over time, it is never completely gone. People are irreplaceable.
3. Your life seems meaningless and you are having trouble finding a purpose in life. Being with people who are understanding and non-judgmental listeners will help you acknowledge your feelings and help you learn to adjust to your losses as you find your way in your new life. Finding a new purpose in life is part of the grief process and those at a grief support group know that and will support you as you listen and share.
4. You have people in your life who say things like… “God won’t give you more than you can endure,” or “It’s all for the best”, or “God needed another angel,” or “You will be your old self soon.” At Griefshare you will learn that everyone has to find their own way and that it is not helpful to share clichés or platitudes to try to help someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. You are feeling what you feel and need not try to talk yourself out of your pain or to try to figure out the whys of what happened. A grief group will help educate you on what is healthy grieving and will help you process the helpful and not helpful things well-meaning people say.
5. You worry that death ended your relationship with the one you lost. At a support group you will likely find ways to celebrate the love you shared and the person you loved. Death may have ended your loved one’s life, but it did not end your relationship with that person. You carry your memories and love with you as you live your life. Death cannot steal what you have in your heart and mind.
6. You have suffered losses in your life and don’t want to think about them. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4. The word mourn here means to get on the outside what it on the inside. I wonder what happens when a person fails to get their sadness on the outside, do they not find comfort? I have seen some come through groups who come in with frozen faces, finding it difficult to talk about or feel the pain of their losses. I have seen people thaw and change as they find a safe place to feel and share and learn. A grief group can be intimidating, but the benefits can provide an amazing freedom and relief, helping a person better deal with the natural process of dealing with the loss of someone special to them. Healing means that one can think about the loved one or be reminded of the losses without feeling like they will fall apart.
Griefshare is a grief support group that meets weekly for 13 weeks. It is meant to be a warm, caring environment and is designed to be an “oasis” on a journey through grief. Each week has time for grief experts and fellow grievers to share about a different subject, and a time for discussion. But no one is forced to talk if they don’t want to.
The Okoboji Griefshare meets at the Okoboji Lakes Bible Conference Community Center at 45 S Hwy 71, Arnolds Park, Iowa. It will begin at 6:30 PM on Monday, Sept. 21, 2015 and continue for 12 more weeks. For more information call Jo Winkowitsch, ph. 712-330-7091. Or go to www.griefshare.org and put your zip code in.
By Jo Winkowitsch, Milford, Iowa
I have been thinking about why a person might want to attend a grief support group. It has been many years since I was catapulted into grief by my daughter’s death. Since then I have been trained in grief by my own losses and through education. I have been drawn into being part of the grief support community to help provide a safe place for people to be educated and supported as they processed their own pain and grief. GriefShare was born out of desire to help people find their way in their grief. For those who need the help, Griefshare is a wonderful resource.
Here are some reasons for a person to consider attending a grief support group:
1. You feel alone or disorientated and can’t seem to find your way. As your relationship with the deceased was unique, so is your grief journey. At a support group you will learn you are not alone on your grief journey, and will find hope that you can find ways to cope and adjust as you share your journey with those who understand. Grief reminds us of how fragile life is, and at a grief support group everyone knows how difficult it is to deal with the losses.
2. You find yourself wondering if you will “get over it” as you think about your grief and loss. As you share and process your grief you will come to understand that grief is a lifelong process when you lose someone to death. You will come to see that you must find your own way of grief, and that you must be patient with yourself as you go. While the agonizing pain of loss diminishes over time, it is never completely gone. People are irreplaceable.
3. Your life seems meaningless and you are having trouble finding a purpose in life. Being with people who are understanding and non-judgmental listeners will help you acknowledge your feelings and help you learn to adjust to your losses as you find your way in your new life. Finding a new purpose in life is part of the grief process and those at a grief support group know that and will support you as you listen and share.
4. You have people in your life who say things like… “God won’t give you more than you can endure,” or “It’s all for the best”, or “God needed another angel,” or “You will be your old self soon.” At Griefshare you will learn that everyone has to find their own way and that it is not helpful to share clichés or platitudes to try to help someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. You are feeling what you feel and need not try to talk yourself out of your pain or to try to figure out the whys of what happened. A grief group will help educate you on what is healthy grieving and will help you process the helpful and not helpful things well-meaning people say.
5. You worry that death ended your relationship with the one you lost. At a support group you will likely find ways to celebrate the love you shared and the person you loved. Death may have ended your loved one’s life, but it did not end your relationship with that person. You carry your memories and love with you as you live your life. Death cannot steal what you have in your heart and mind.
6. You have suffered losses in your life and don’t want to think about them. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4. The word mourn here means to get on the outside what it on the inside. I wonder what happens when a person fails to get their sadness on the outside, do they not find comfort? I have seen some come through groups who come in with frozen faces, finding it difficult to talk about or feel the pain of their losses. I have seen people thaw and change as they find a safe place to feel and share and learn. A grief group can be intimidating, but the benefits can provide an amazing freedom and relief, helping a person better deal with the natural process of dealing with the loss of someone special to them. Healing means that one can think about the loved one or be reminded of the losses without feeling like they will fall apart.
Griefshare is a grief support group that meets weekly for 13 weeks. It is meant to be a warm, caring environment and is designed to be an “oasis” on a journey through grief. Each week has time for grief experts and fellow grievers to share about a different subject, and a time for discussion. But no one is forced to talk if they don’t want to.
The Okoboji Griefshare meets at the Okoboji Lakes Bible Conference Community Center at 45 S Hwy 71, Arnolds Park, Iowa. It will begin at 6:30 PM on Monday, Sept. 21, 2015 and continue for 12 more weeks. For more information call Jo Winkowitsch, ph. 712-330-7091. Or go to www.griefshare.org and put your zip code in.
posted by Jo Winkowitsch at 11:13 AM
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